The Mason Jar Manifesto

It’s 4.47am when I sit down to write this. I woke up 30 minutes ago and couldn’t go back to sleep. I’ve been thinking about this for so long, but a couple of things lately have reinforced what I already knew.

The wedding train has derailed.

Put down those mason jars, store away that vintage typewriter and fairy lights and sit down because you need to listen. This is an intervention. The whole wedding industry has gone detail bananas and we need to clear a few things up.

– You! Over there! Step away from the hay bales and the Vintage Navajo rugs and come over here. Sit! Down! No, you don’t have to put lavender on the plates, you need to wake up!

We’re getting lost in details. The whole wedding industry is drifting away from what weddings are about and we’re all part of the problem – bloggers, photographers, planners and vendors – all hypocrites feeding the detail beast.

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

At the center of every wedding we have a girl. Who fell in love with a boy. Or a girl who fell in love with a girl. Or a boy who fell in l… you get my point.

The rest is fluff.

If you read magazines and wedding blogs today, you’d think it’s all about the dress, the decorations, invitations or a million other things.

THINGS.

It’s not.

It’s about celebrating love, a manifestation of commitment, a gathering of friends and family.

Because you’re in love.

But if you visit many of the blogs today, you’d think it’s about other things. Heck, there are even themed shoots with no people. As if candles and old LP players on a blanket in a clearing in a forest make a wedding. Just add people. And maybe a groom. Or actually don’t, the wedding is about the details, remember? Details, details, details.

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

Weddings are about people, it’s about commitment and celebrating love. It’s about you. Build on that and everything else will follow.

I am a detail person, so it’s not that I don’t like details. I love details. Details, details, details. Love them. I honestly do. I’ve worked with some of the best planners in the business and they’ve styled weddings to perfection, made details stand out and it’s always been great, because they’ve built on the couples, starting with who they are. And I actually like shooting details. A lot.

When I was younger I used to record mix tapes and give to girls I liked.

Every detail was thought out, every letter, every scribble, every word on that tape had meaning. I love me some details. I grew up in a house with vintage bottles and mason jars everywhere. That and rocks collected from oceans and fields. So I get the jar and bottle thing, I truly do. Throw in some rocks and I’m there. But remember what the wedding is about, why you’re doing this, that’s all you really need. Don’t stress out about building a fairytale wedding, perfectly crafted, every detail borrowed from somewhere else.

Look away from the blogs and magazines.

And look within.

Why are you doing this? What does it mean to you? Do you really need all that…stuff? And if you want stuff, are you adding stuff that actually means something to you? What do you want to remember from your day? The cake, the flowers, the dress from Hoya de la Poopy?

Or do you want to focus on that moment between you two? The boy? Who fell in love with a girl?

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

Last night Rachel sent me this email after I posted their wedding. I’ll leave you with that.

 

Jonas,

I want you to picture Jeff and I squeezed in to our round chair, we don’t really fit and our dogs have been asleep at our feet for hours. It is very chilly here and the leaves are falling but we are reluctant to put on our heat yet. I say to Jeff, “let’s check your unemployed wife’s email, maybe we are about to get wealthy.” When I saw “it’s up” I stopped breathing. You reminded me that all that matters  is squeezed in that chair next to me.

This is the moment I have been craving and dreading all at the same time. It feels like a final celebration in a way to me. Like our last chance for you, nirav and us to take what we created together, between all of our hearts, and say to the world this is love, this is what’s important, this is the power of photography.

I am sitting here with this feeling inside that I felt before. I felt it when we sent that email off into thin air hoping to create something with you. I felt this when Jeff and I woke up in the middle of the night on our honeymoon in our little cabin (Jeff would be the first to tell you if you didn’t already have your ticket back to Australia I would have brought you on our honeymoon too) but picture us there and we are on an island in the middle of the ocean in the rain in a little cabin and i press my iphone on and it reloads your website and “One” is there. Jeff and I held each other and cried and cried and cried. You have healed parts of me. If that is not the measure of your success, I don’t know what is.

I love you.

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  1. Racheal Brown says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation. This is a preview; your comment will be visible after it has been approved.
    Great Stuff! After reading your post, i think, menifestataion worked like magic for you to find your love.
  2. I love every single word. Too much focus is sometimes on the ‘wedding’ that we forget about the marriage. Thank you for posting this!

  3. Jonas, my partner and I have just talked about this over dinner earlier and yesterday when we had coffee. Thank You. You should come and visit Cebu City, Philippines one of these days and we can keep it a secret.

  4. Three years on and this blog post is like a good wine, still good, and getting better.

    Fucking, love, all, of, it

    As a celebrant it means more to me than anyone else in the process.

  5. Thoughtful words, but I agree entirely with Kevi. Whilst stressing over achieving perfection in the detail is no fun, each to their own. There is beauty in everything.

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  8. I’m unsure about how I came across your article but I would like to thank you for so eloquently putting words to something I think about all the time. Weddings are about ceremony and the celebration of true love. Details should be a by-product of the ceremony, not to be worried about perfecting or stressed over. Thank you very much for this excellent article. I will be forwarding clients seeking clarification to this in the future. Also I absolutely love your photography work. Namaste xo

  9. What a great post – I must share this with everyone! I remember one bride asking if I had taken a photo of her birdcage. She had hundreds of photographs of friends and family but was gutted that I hadn’t noticed the birdcage she bought to collect cards in. This post makes me realise I am not such a bad person for concentrating on the people and the love in the room!
    Thank you so much xxx

  10. Jonas I couldn’t agree more! It’s like you live in my head! The hardest part of our job as planners is ‘getting the couple back’ after they’ve fallen off the details cliff. And so many don’t bother. The most touching weddings I’ve worked on allowed the couple’s essence to shine through, by using minimal details or details that truly meant something to the couple. And that, I believe, is what makes for the best wedding day, the most memorable celebration, and ultimately the most beautiful photos … what’s more magical than living and capturing a special moment passing between two people that often goes unnoticed in the clutter (yes, I said it) that are some weddings. If we can help guide couples to stay true what THEY want, and what makes THEM happy (not following the trends, the ‘musts’, trying to top so-and-so cause they had this-and-that, doing it cause the parents are pushy, cause a friend is insisting) the pressure and stress everyone talks about when planning a wedding would almost completely be obliterated. I may have stumbled on this late (thanks for sharing Bernard Pretorius!) but thanks for speaking your heart!

  11. Came across this post (again). I remember reading it back in 2011 when you posted it, and it’s still very relevant two years later. I’m constantly having this battle in my head. As a wedding photographer, of course I love photographing beautiful weddings, with stunning details, but too often, I’ll be shooting a wedding and I’ll think: “Do you two even LOVE each other? What am I even doing here??”…that’s honestly why I love elopements. If I could make a living shooting elopements…sign me up today!! Anyway, thanks so much for writing this post. I hope it caused brides to sit back and think about what’s most important. It obviously didn’t change much in the blogsphere, but I think that’s a deeper ditch. Anyway. You rock. Keep putting out amazing work. I’m truly inspired by your art.

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  13. I came across this blog as I myself am planning a wedding and using mason jars and twinkle lights. I was searching for ideas. But we are going the farm, barn, mason jar route for quite the opposite reason than you write about. Not because its trendy, bc its affordable. We prefer simple, not over extravagent. We are down to earth, not high maintenacne. We like the home made over the the over-thought, over-done, over-decorated. And the DIY was becasue we dont have the money for high priced planners, and decorations that are pre-made and have no meaning. The ones every other person used 1000 times before we did. All the details we have are hand made, by my fiance and myself. Our mason jars came from family and friends, who know who we are, and therefore have meaning. The ones we bought at garage sales, came from people who were more than excited to give them to us for our wedding. We met wonderful folks spending out Saturdays wandering around town looking for the jars. Telling our story, making new friends. Our hand painted burlap tells a story of me and a friend spending time together, her helping me, that burlap now has meaning. And again, it costs a lot less than purchasing it. Our wedding is nothing but focusing on love. and a boy who met a girl, and fell in love at a time neither thought it was possible. Our energy and love makes all things possible. We love blue, we love mason jars, and burlap, and chevron, and all things that are “trendy” now. And I can’t wait for my photographer to capture it all.

  14. this is exactly what the wedding industry needs to hear. every bride should have to come initial here to prove she has read and understands what has been said.

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  17. I’d like to shoot AMEN from the rooftops right now!
    Ever since I was a little kid, the “fluff” and “stuff” part of weddings has genuinely bothered me. Never would have dreamed then that I’d one day be part of the wedding industry… This post eloquently expresses thoughts and feelings I’ve had for years now. I may just be sharing this link now and again… ;)

  18. Weedings are about people AND LIFE too! I welcome your post full of good karma and celebrate the fact that we need to move away from “stuffs’ …..not only in photography. By the way what a complement from the girl! Congratulations.
    Carlos.

  19. One of my favourite weddings had no chair covers, a simple cake a beautiful dress a friend made. But it wasn’t low budget by any means, it had the longest free bar I can remember and everyone had a lot of fun. The laughter during the speeches made for a lot of great photos.

  20. Hi Jonas I stumbled upon your blog and comments whilst googling “mason jars” (not I might add for a wedding….)
    I am actually a Marriage Celebrant in Mildura in the north of Victoria and have married oodles of gorgeous couples – but just had to write and say how this blog just resonated with how I feel a ceremony should absolute be… from the heart and celebrating just one element – that miracle of a boy meeting a girl and falling in love..
    My actual advertising motto in all my ads is “It’s not just about the dress…” as I really wanted that to get across..
    So how wonderfully refreshing it was to read those words of yours Jonas – and I’m sure your photos are beautiful!! take care Jan

  21. I can’t get this out of my head. I keep rereading it, thinking YES YES YES!

    Jonas, I think you may have started a movement. :-)

  22. Total snobbery. It’s a pity that a couple has to worry about their photographer trashing their wedding on his blog because they used decor that didn’t suit his clearly superior taste.

  23. I think its very unfortunate that you so quickly discount those of us who have focused on details, those of us for whom crafting was a passion long before engagement, those of us who elect NOT to even have a professional photographer so that we can afford to create interactive activities for family members who have probably never met each other. Weddings are about an individual couple, comprised of two individual people, treating their loved ones to a ceremony that reflects that individuality. Weddings are not about photography. Photography is itself one of the many details your average bride and groom must prioritize. While I hear your frustration, I wonder what it is about mason jars that you find so disgusting. Sometimes its not about riding along with a trend, its about creating your wedding from things you already own, or will be able to use again. Because in 5 years, when one of those mason jars holds all of your firstborn’s crayons you will be able to smile at your spouse and think about how the permanence of everyday objects helps to crystallize the impermanent passage of time.

  24. Just one comment, based on a quote from your article:

    “When I was younger I used to record mix tapes and give to girls I liked.

    Every detail was thought out, every letter, every scribble, every word on that tape had meaning.”

    So why is this different from sharing a wedding with someone that, i’m going to assume, you not only like but love? It’s like the largest mix tape to your future spouse, wrapped up in a party. When you do things with someone you love, and you love details too, then it is a natural step to be detail-oriented for something you are so excited about. Not everyone focuses so much on details that they forget the important part of the wedding. Buying mason jars does not automatically mean that you are not excited about the actual *marriage*. That’s just a weird correlation to make. Anyone can fall down the path of focusing too much on the wedding details [decorations] but it’s not vintage typewriter [bad] vs guest registry book [good]. The wedding can be as traditional for their area as all get-out, and the people planning it can still lose track of the important part. I think your dislike of currently trendy details and your desire to make a statement to all and sundry to remember the important part of a wedding [granted, this is always a good thing to remember] are not related in the slightest.

    So, which one of those was really keeping you up at night?

  25. I barely know Rachel, but I started following you because I saw on my Facebook newsfeed that she had gotten married, and you were the creator of the most gorgeous photos I’ve ever seen.
    I love your passion, and I love that your clients are there to eloquently voice back their love and thanks for your impeccable work.
    Bravo! I shall continue to view your website forever more :)

  26. I thought – Oh no, the author’s going to scold me for choosing mason jars for the reception centerpieces. And then I read the manifesto.

    When my daughter told me she was engaged, and I knew I would end up being the wedding planner (because I love planning weddings and events), the first thing I did – before I ever let them talk to me about the details – was ask them what they wanted people to feel and know about them. I needed to know what they envisioned in a wedding and how they wanted people to celebrate their event.

    And after hearing their words, we chose a farm setting for the wedding. I keep pointing them to that question, just to keep them grounded and true to who they are.

    We can all get wrapped up in the details, and truth is, details can make for great ceremonies. But what’s most important is the celebration.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  27. THANK YOU for this. You said what I have been thinking for a while. Yes, details are fun to shoot, but it’s about the relationships being built and the lives shared.

  28. I literally held my breath while I Read this! I could have written it myself…though definitly not as well!
    I completely agree 100%…I LOVE the details, I am so detail oriented, but disagree with couples that add details that aren’t them…that worry so much about their wedding being featured…or photographers who focus so much on the details they miss out on the couples story…their romance, their connection. That speaks significant volumes over what centerpieces they had at their wedding.
    I have submitted photos to wedding blogs only to have the engagement session turned down because they didn’t have more than one outfit on. Really? Does that really hinder the quality of the photos, of their love?
    Thank you so so much for being so open, for posting this. I know i will come back to read it again and again.

  29. Please do wake up more ilke this :-). Know exactly what you mean! nice reportage by the way! this year I was drowned by brides wishes … they have been on the internet and blogs and wanted this and this and this and this and this….. I reminded them that I am there to capture their love and feelings not to copy tricks and moments of other photographers and weddings…..

  30. Can’t believe I missed all the fun here !! Couldn’t agree more Jonas. You clearly aren’t saying details aren’t important, just that the promises you make to each other, and the good times with family and friends are where the magic is.

  31. heeei…

    %22When%20I%20was%20younger%20I%20used%20to%20record%20mix%20tapes%20and%20give%20to%20girls%20I%20liked.%22

    same%20here!%20%3A)

  32. I guess I miss your point… the wedding pictured is full of beautiful detail. Each one had meaning, I’ll bet, with some more for the couple, some more for the guests. All lovely. Why is another’s carefully and lovingly selected decor or symbols any different? You scorn the flowers and mason jars that you find symbolic of misguided focus and then show images of the very same items in praise of their simplicity. Can’t we just let people plan the wedding they want without screaming “too much!” “too simple!” “too weird!!” “too not-my-taste!” The most important element, as I think you make, is the marriage…. this post makes it about the details just as much as “they” do. Why put another post into the world telling brides how wrong they are?

  33. I’m…not even sure where to start here. No wait…I do.

    Where were you ten years ago when the trend was sophisticated, sleek weddings with no hair out of place? You know what I say? Hallelujah to hay fields and lavender and mason jars.

    From the start, one should be asking: what is important in our wedding? Just because the look has become more rural than metroplitan doesn’t change that. The details don’t have to make the meaning and purpose of a wedding any less. But just as much as you clean up the house and arrange food on a plate for people coming over for a dinner party, you decorate and plan for a wedding.

    Which means, make it you. If you wouldn’t clean up your house or arrange food on a place for a dinner party, they you’re not likely the type to make your wedding so detail-oriented.

    Despite the trends (which I could really care less about), some of us actually /like/ these things, feel a connection with mason jars and lights and flags. Some of us prefer an atmosphere that is more natural and feels like home.

    These little details are a part of who my husband and I are, and they contributed so much to our wedding: they helped us feel like we were putting something together that was /us/, where WE felt comfortable showing all of them our love.

    What you write here shouldn’t be a manifesto against the mason jar trend, but perhaps the adherence to trends that do not resonate with WHO YOU ARE or WHAT YOUR LOVE IS ABOUT. But…that would be futile, wouldn’t it? The fashion industry, the photographers, the whole marketing design world is out there to tell us what you love, right?

    In summary, I think your message gets lost by attacking the details rather than focusing on the meaning and purpose of weddings – simple or ornate. Ironic, eh?

  34. But if those Mason jars were the same ones that your grandmother used for jellies and pickles for the last 50 years, and she died less than a year before the wedding, then by all means, include her loving hands in your day!

  35. Well, then don’t have mason jars and fairy lights in YOUR wedding. These couples know they are in love and are gathering together friends and family. Their desire for details doesn’t mean they have forgotten their primary purpose, or they are any less in love. Live and let live.

  36. I am not the first to agree with this post as I can see from all the comments above, but I just wanted to say that I completely agree. For me, wedding is a celebration of love, its letting everyone know, this is the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. The emotion is first, the day is important, but it is only 1 day of a hopefully long long love story. I am glad to see that you, and many others still remember that.

  37. You have had so many hits on this post, it is viral what a great way to promote yourself you little sly marketing guru.

  38. you said everything i feel. i was just talking to my assistants about all this yesterday. thank you for sharing. you are truly gifted.

  39. Jonas, I’ve been on this soapbox for a few years now. I’m not opposed to details. I was a photojournalist for 17 years before I began shooting weddings. I’d get reamed if I didn’t come back with details that aided the story- put things into context. However, the perception of wedding photography today has turned into a detail oriented genre that has forgotten about the decisive moment.

    While we’re at it, let’s stop handing our images over to the mags and blogs who are at the heart of this issue. Let’s demand, or at least- request- that the moments we capture be just as important as the the dress designer, ring designer, floral decorator, caterer, and of course.. the wheel barrow in the wheat field with the sign in it.

    Well said, Jonas.

  40. I haven’t been able to read your blog for a little while but was soooooo pleased to see your manifesto! Here, Here!….Well said…Couldn’t of said it better myself! I’m only just starting out in the wedding industry and feel the same way.

  41. This needed to be said! I was joking on Twitter about mason jars 3 weeks ago and this is my perspective. In rural Maine we use mason jars to pickle veggies & jar fruit to get through the winter. Not wedding doodads. Jars look better with pickles

  42. First of all, this is a great post and you make a great point. However, I had to laugh when I clicked on your first wedding gallery. Almost ALL the images in your gallery from that wedding are detail shots. Be the change you wish to see happen… :)

  43. Hey Jonas,

    I am glad to read this. Being a wedding photographer myself, I felt so much pressure leading up to our wedding and making it detail rich. I remember looking at the plot where our wedding was to be held (on my mum’s property) and thinking, oh my gosh we have so much space to fill with details. There was stress involved with this, but ultimately it ended up being an opportunity to be surrounded by the stuff we love.

    We had lollies & chocolates anywhere & everywhere. We had my grandparents furniture holding them, we had photos of those we love around the place and we even had the cheapest, tackiest fake sun hanging from a tree because my wife said, she just hopes we get a glimpse of sun at our wedding. It was hanging there the entire time where the ceremony was held. I found it the morning of the wedding when I realised it was going to be a cloudy day. It was my way of letting my wife know that I love her and that I was listening to her when she said that.

    I’m always the only adult lining up to buy fairy floss, or cotton candy…so we had that too… My wife is always one to organise a “slushie” machine for any event she’s planning. We just had to have that too.

    All these things came together to help our guests have a great time and help us celebrate the love and commitment we wanted to proclaim publicly.

    Would we have had a beautiful, love filled wedding with out these details? Yes. Did we NEED any of them. No. It was fun, but it definitely wasn’t the core of our celebration of love.

    I am so grateful for blogs like Polka Dot Bride who continue to show the images that share the love and commitment that people have declared.

    I for one and fully on board with this and will continue to remind my clients that the reason I am there is to create images that act as a reminder of the love that they share, not just the stuff that they bought. I won’t just submit images to blogs that are detail rich, but ones that beautifully capture the love between the two.

    I am so grateful that you are standing up in this industry. You’ve raised the bar for photographers and now you’re standing up to remind us what it’s all about.

    For that I applaud you.

    I wish all the best to you and the lovely lady that you love.

    JD

    p.s. Thank you again for the beautiful photos of Catherine & I. We love them more every day as our love grows stronger.

  44. Hey Jonas,

    I am glad to read this. Being a wedding photographer myself, I felt so much pressure leading up to our wedding and making it detail rich. I remember looking at the plot where our wedding was to be held (on my mum’s property) and thinking, oh my gosh we have so much space to fill with details. There was stress involved with this, but ultimately it ended up being an opportunity to be surrounded by the stuff we love.

    We had lollies & chocolates anywhere & everywhere. We had my grandparents furniture holding them, we had photos of those we love around the place and we even had the cheapest, tackiest fake sun hanging from a tree because my wife said, she just hopes we get a glimpse of sun at our wedding. It was hanging there the entire time where the ceremony was held. I found it the morning of the wedding when I realised it was going to be a cloudy day. It was my way of letting my wife know that I love her and that I was listening to her when she said that.

    I’m always the only adult lining up to buy fairy floss, or cotton candy…so we had that too… My wife is always one to organise a “slushie” machine for any event she’s planning. We just had to have that too.

    All these things came together to help our guests have a great time and help us celebrate the love and commitment we wanted to proclaim publicly.

    Would we have had a beautiful, love filled wedding with out these details? Yes. Did we NEED any of them. No. It was fun, but it definitely wasn’t the core of our celebration of love.

    I am so grateful for blogs like Polka Dot Bride who continue to show the images that share the love and commitment that people have declared.

    I for one and fully on board with this and will continue to remind my clients that the reason I am there is to create images that act as a reminder of the love that they share, not just the stuff that they bought. I won’t just submit images to blogs that are detail rich, but ones that beautifully capture the love between the two.

    I am so grateful that you are standing up in this industry. You’ve raised the bar for photographers and now you’re standing up to remind us what it’s all about.

    For that I applaud you.

    I wish all the best to you and the lovely lady that you love.

    JD

    p.s. Thank you again for the beautiful photos of Catherine & I. We love them more every day as our love grows stronger.

  45. Thank you thank you thank you.

    I’ve sent this to my fiance and our families and our photographer… and we’re all right there with you. Yes. I thought I should say thanks to you directly.

    We even have mason jars already. Because the details can be beautiful, and weddings are beautiful. But they only reflect a larger, deeper, brighter light.

  46. Very well written. We all knew we’d gone a little too far but nobody wants to admit it. Thanks for writing this. What a beautiful couple you got to work with! I am so happy you guys found each other.

  47. Wowza!!!! So real, so raw, so beautiful, and so true….. Jonas, I don’t know who you are but your words ‘speak’ so much emotion and feeling, it makes me want to cry – in a good way…it’s amazing! Thank-you for sharing this with the world. xx

  48. Loud applause. Your “manifesto” came up between me and another photographer who shoots weddings. She had just battled a true bridezilla: think commando drill sergeant in Vera Wang. While being shot by the head photographer, she was yelling at my friend to, “shoot this!” and “did you get that?” She is someone who probably could have benefitted from your words about focusing on the people you’re with and the person you love.

  49. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
    I hope that EVERYONE will read this and that it will catch like wildfire like every last copied trend to infinity. I ALWAYS tell my couples that THE most important thing is THEM, then the photos, then maybe the dress b/c come on I am a girl. ;)
    The details don’t matter. What someone 3x removed on some distant relatives side thinks, certainly does not matter, and what someone’s mama thinks…DOES NOT MATTER. They had their wedding, this is about the two people sitting in front of me and NOTHING more. I tell the story of how my OWN wedding got lost in details that didn’t have anything to do with us (which happened long before all these trends happened) and frankly my husband and I showed up and said some vows at some other person’s wedding. It had our names on the invitations, people were there to celebrate us, but they were at someone else’s wedding. Not the simple, easy-going day of celebration we’d started out with in our minds..but some big over-priced (and not NEARLY as much as most people’s) thing with hundreds of people I’d never even met staring at me in the over-priced gown I really didn’t even want. It saddens me still to this day. We were pushed into the location, the attire, the decor, the PHOTOGRAPHERS etc… it had nothing to do with us at all and everything to do with all the people staring at us. For all we spent on these details that meant nothing to us, we couldn’t even afford to go on a honeymoon to celebrate US.
    I try to tell all of my potential clients this, immediately out of the box. Even if they don’t hire me, I could care less. Even if it is just a random person who’s newly engaged, it is ALWAYS the second thing from my lips after ‘congratulations’.
    I wonder how many people have actually JUST gotten married to someone that seemed good enough so they could maybe end up on some wedding blog for all the cool crap they found at garage sales and thrift stores?
    It is, indeed, out of hand and thanks for being able to write so nicely at a ridiculously early hour. ;)

  50. have to disagree jonas, you are one of the people that promote and benefitted from those blogs too remember? now obviously you have a very strong and loyal follower who nod and agrees with whatever you said, even if you said the earth is flat!
    You have to remember that these blogs are all about promoting INSPIRATION, its never about showing the lovey dovey couple, they’re not blogs for photographers to showcase how they can “capture” the day.
    These blogs are about showing couples ideas about what they can do on their wedding day. Wedding is still the biggest day in people’s live, so yes, they want the best, they want to look the best. they want what’s in season now, latest dress design, not their grandmother dress. and thats how life is, we all want whats new, so what? thats how it goes with everything else in life. latest iphone, laptop, shoes, clothes, car, you name it.
    so what if it doesnt mean anything to them? and how do you know it means or doesnt mean anything to them? did you ask them? since you’re not married let me give you a hint, when people look back at their wedding day 30 years down the track or even 3 years, they want to remember everything, yes, EVERYTHING, the cake, flowers, invitation, and the dress from hoya de la poopy

  51. “There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle. Love the manifesto. Don’t stop saying what you’re thinking.

  52. Jonas, I couldn’t agree more. It’s so easy for couples to get caught up in things looking or sounding perfect, when the perfect part is already there – the love between the two of them.

    I often tell couples that the place could be on fire, but they wouldn’t notice once the one they love is next to them. The most important part of the day is that the two of them stand up and say proudly, ‘this is the one I choose.’

    After all, you’re getting married, not wedding-ed.

  53. Just read your words after seeing the post on facebook from by daughter-in-law of 5 months. Just before being on the computer, my husband of 32 years and I had looked at our son’s and daughter-in-law’s wedding album and our wedding album. We commented how differently things are done now as compared to 1979 when we got married. But the photographs of such a happy time – the beginning of our life together, still makes me feel in love with him all over again. Keep taking beautiful pictures of the couple.

  54. Thank you.
    THANK YOU.

    I am in love with a man that literally makes me smile every time I think about him.
    (and yes, I’m smiling now)
    It’s not a dramatic kind of love. It’s not explosive or volcanic.
    It’s sure. It’s deep. It’s unwavering.

    And I want to marry him.
    I don’t (just) want a wedding.
    I actually want to be married.
    I’m looking forward to the day after our honeymoon…
    when we actually start our real life together.
    I’m looking forward to the fighting about socks lying around the house
    and sharing meals every day
    and waking up to crinkle my nose at his morning breath.

    Weddings should be about celebrating that.
    At least ours will be.
    It’s a huge party, a massive love festival
    celebrating not just our love but the love
    for each other and for us.
    For love existing.

    Weddings have been hijacked.
    But they don’t have to be.
    “The Industry” doesn’t actually ever get married…
    People do.

    And I have every intention of taking taking my day back.

    But thanks…
    For saying what we all feel
    with Jonas flair.

  55. Thank you.
    THANK YOU.

    I am in love with a man that literally makes me smile every time I think about him.
    It’s not a dramatic kind of love. It’s not explosive or mindblowingly-exciting.
    It’s sure. It’s deep. It’s unwavering.

    And I want to marry him.
    I don’t (just) want a wedding.
    I actually want to be married.
    I’m looking forward to the day after our honeymoon…
    when we actually start our real life together.
    I’m looking forward to fighting about socks lying around the house,
    and sharing meals every day
    and waking up to crinkle my nose at his morning breath.

    Weddings should be about celebrating that.
    At least ours will be.
    It’s a huge party… a massive love festival,
    celebrating, not just our love, but the love of everyone in the room –
    for each other, for us,
    for love existing.

    Weddings have been hijacked.
    But they don’t have to be.
    “The Industry” doesn’t actually ever get married…
    people do.

    And I have every intention of taking it back.
    At least for one day.

    But thanks…
    for saying what we all feel
    with Jonas flair.

  56. @ anonymous… from what I read Jonas never focused on criticizing couples or their choices. I think he clearly focused this post towards the wedding industry and took on quite a bit of his on responsibility himself by say “We’re getting lost in details. The whole wedding industry is drifting away from what weddings are about and we’re all part of the problem – bloggers, photographers, planners and vendors – all hypocrites feeding the detail beast.” In my understanding he is trying to explain that the most important thing is the couple, their love, and their choice of expression whether that includes tons of details that help them tell their story or none. It is the wedding industries message to brides and grooms that he is criticizing because of their excessive focus on detail in proportion to the stories of love and community.

  57. Wow – did you just shoot yourself in the foot with this post?

    You are featuring weddings on your blog with plenty of detail. As you mentioned. Has it not occurred to you that you are in fact one of those many blog you are talking about. inspiring future bride and grooms to be?

    You, being very savvy marketing yourself as a brand, also know that blogs and “word of mouth” is the most important tool you have to become successful. Those blogs featuring your weddings, would be the very same blogs you mention in this post claiming they are spurring this industry along. What makes what they do less important than what you do? Not all couples feel confident in how they would like their day to look or feel and need someone to help them with ideas.

    Who are you to say that the couple lost in the details or who are getting inspiration from somewhere other than their own history are not as in love as those who do not? Or will not enjoy their day as much as the couple who did not get caught up in the details. Every couple is different.

    I feel sorry for those couples you have booked in to shoot who will read this post. How do you think this will make them feel when you have been invited to take part of the most important day of their lives and they have put down months of hard work to make it perfect. When they have collected jars, trinkets and all those other details to decorate their venue because to them, that IS an important part of they day.

    It is not your place to tell them what is right and what is not. Or where they should or should not have been getting their inspiration. It is your job to make sure you capture every part of their very special day. Regardless of what it looks like.

    It is clear you have a huge number of followers who admire you and everything you say and do, but to me you just lost a little bit of that sparkle I always thought you had.

  58. Hey Jonas. I’m sure I’m echoing the same thing that everyone else has shared, but wanted to say thanks for sharing the same feeling that I’ve had for so long. Great job man!

  59. very interesting. i kind of wish you had included things like twitter, photoshop, 300 dollar photography, green box mode, the id’s the egos and the super egos, workshops, book deals, superstars, facebook, retweets . people will do what makes them money or what a potential client wants. Simple is boring now apparently. Blogs bring bookings. Unless its her story, does a bride care? I wish the wedding world lived in your vision. But your vision does not have a face with dollar sign eyes. Well, unless you can pull it off like Jonas. Hoping that this wedding photography fad that brought me in dies cause, its tough to compete against your brother, cousin, multiple friends, their moms, their mom’s moms and every other pro with a rebel.

    I have to give you ultimate props, you are genuine and genuinely original. Nothing I am or most everybody else that has commented.

    And in the end, the majority of people get divorced. So, does it all really matter? :)

  60. LOVE! I shot my first wedding this summer and I was shooting the groom as he first saw his bride when she was walking down the aisle (they hadn’t seen each other first). Seeing his face, his sheer amazement totally solidified my love for weddings. Not because of the birdhouses and antique lamps because of his love for her and hers for him. The pure raw emotion that is everywhere on that day! Thanks for sharing this.

  61. One. I may be in love with you. Don’t worry, I’m one of those “girls who fell in love with a girl.” Two. I do not think this could have been said better, or with as much perspective AND objectivity. Three. Come do our wedding in the states? I think you’re just genius and your stories through photographs just move me beyond words.

  62. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us have probably been thinking for a long time! I read this about 9 hours ago for the first time (roughly midnight/1 am) but didn’t leave a comment. For some reason this was one of the first things I thought of this morning!
    I’m not a wedding photographer, but everything you said about your approach to capturing life as it happens resonated with me. That’s exactly what I strive to do; staging/posing isn’t real, and that’s not what I want to capture for people (though I did portraits for several years, and was able to guide people…).

    Anyway i keep seeing all these wedding pictures from different photographers, and wondering if a ceremony even happened at all! Everything is so detail-oriented and staged, you almost never see actual true emotion or interaction in the pictures that are shown! No wonder so many people are getting divorced– a wedding has become more about making a big deal of yourself, instead of a celebration of your relationship with the person you’re vowing to spend the rest of your life with.

    When my husband and I got married 6 years ago, I was so focused on US that I didn’t really care about details. “Centerpieces? Our guests don’t care what a table looks like in the dark!” lol (yes, we did have centerpieces, and I don’t remember what they looked like, it just wasn’t that important to me.) And I consider myself a pretty creative person! There were more important things to focus on that day! :)

    Sorry for the book! Thank you for being a breath of fresh air!

  63. I read every word of this. Yours and theirs. Love your idea. I just recently married (4mos now) and we so enjoy our simple life. We are what some might call elderly. I love showing how it’s never too late to live happily ever after. We eloped and had a reception on our return. It was so much fun. I wouldn’t change a thing. It was all about our immense love and delicious food and good wine and toasts and laughter. So much laughter. I’m going to forward to my young bride friends who are in the throes of their planning. Thank you, Jonas, for sharing your good thoughts.

  64. Hi Jonas
    I´m swedish but writing to you in english.
    I´m in the middle of wedding preperations, the date is set to january 7th 2012. We are planning a small-budget intimate wedding, but now as it´s staring to get closer and closer I´ve felt the pressure from myself and others to add more and more things. Stumbled on to your website a couple of days ago and love your work. Reading your manifesto above will really help me focus on what´s really important on our day. It´s not the invitations or whether or not I have perfect hair, it´s about me and him.
    Tack!

  65. I’m fairly new to the wedding business, but I have shot several weddings where it just feels like wedding by numbers. No love, no vibe, no real feeling of anything.

    A wedding should be as personal to you as possible. That’s it. That’s all I have to say, it’s not about all the other fluff as you say. It’s about celebrating love and sharing that with others.

  66. you made me cry with your words…

    Then i smiled when i realized that some people did not understand your point. Anyway i thing your message was really clear for whom that wanna listen to it!
    <3 love

  67. I agree. Having just gotten married (tried to book you, but never got an answer) I really agree that it very quickly turned into a frenzy of getting every single detail right and my biggest memory from the day is probably all the things that we forgot or didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I know it is terrible to think like that, but still… to be honest, that is how it feels.

    Details are great but quickly gets overwhelming.

    Secondly, very few blogweddings are original – most of the feature exactly the same stuff, even the same flowers. Boring.

  68. Go watch ‘Second Hand Wedding’ – a small Kiw film with a big heart. Its the industry we are in and you are right “Your wedding is about you” so if you love all the fluff and the shopping adventures and the drama – go for it. I get paid to take detail photos! And then there are those who don’t so much as have a bouquet. It’s just about self expression and you’re always going to have people who love the drama and the details: the shadow boxes, the china cabinets, the fluffy toys… the vintage wedding accessories. Next trend?

    And by the way, what the heck is a mason jar?

  69. Where were you when I got married :-) My family made my wedding into a circus and everyone forgot that it was about us. We are now renewing our vows with just us and the celebrant. Because all that counts is my husband been there with me holding my hand and looking into my eyes :-) Its such a shame people get so caught up in unnecessary details. What you wrote was spot on and well said :-)

  70. Well done, sir. I have been to a number of weddings in the past year in a number of shapes and sizes. Some went perfectly, some went off the rails. But the conclusion was always the same, two people who were madly in love got married, and that was all that really mattered.

  71. I heaved a sigh of relief when I read this Jonas. Well written! We always try to put weddings on our blog that speak to us with the emotion, the weddings that the couple have put something of themselves into the day, where you can see who THEY are. When we ask for details we mean the joy, the tears, the hugs – the unscripted moments – not the beautifully tied napkins. I sometimes feel that if if I see one more bike, one more vintage chest (and yes one more Mason jar that people pretend is comfortable and stylish to use, let alone drink out of)I will heave another sigh – this time of frustration. Be who you are, and stop caring so much about styling your wedding to within an inch of it’s life (so it loses its soul) and stop caring about what other people think – stop and listen quietly to your heart. Your wedding day is after all, a celebration with the people you love, of the first day of your married life.

  72. Jonas – I actually think you are inside my head!

    This is exactly what I have been struggling with for the past few months – people putting in their two cents about things that they think are important for a wedding. You’re exactly right – it’s all just fluff and what’s important is the love and respect you have for each other.

    One of the THE most paramount lessons I learned in my first year of University is that there is beauty in simplicity.

    Who cares if the bridesmaids dressing aren’t matching? Who cares if the groom is wearing a suit he already owns? Who care if there isn’t a big bloody diamond sitting on your ring finger? I dont! And people who have come to share in the celebration of your love aren’t going to remember what colour bows were tied to the back of their chairs.

    What they will remember is how much love the two of you shared and how much fun they had in being there to witness and celebrate that love!

    Jonas – thank you for your honesty and for reinforcing the idea that it’s ok to just be.

    I cannot wait for you to shoot our wedding!

    Much love,
    Marley

  73. You’re a pretty smart guy Jonas…..click…..click…..click. That’s the sound of the hits to your blog.

    I have a few points to make:
    1) A beautiful heartfelt wedding will still be that with or without the details which may or may not be relevant to the couple.
    2) Trends come and go but real images will last forever.
    3) Regardless of whether you believe your post or really want to, you do take a great photo make people feel like they were at the weddings that you have attended.

    Keep stirring the pot!…..and inspiring others to take better images.

  74. I was directed to your blog from a friend and this is just perfectly written! I agree totally and strangely enough wrote a blog post like this yesterday!

    I get sick of people stealing other peoples personal ideas to try and make it onto every wedding blog going!

    Thanks for sharing this and I would love you to read mine too!

    Love from
    Amy
    x

  75. I LOVE this! My friend just directed me to your post and I agree totally! And strangely I wrote a post like that yesterday about how weddings should be personal and how I’m sick of people pinching ideas in the hope of ending up on every wedding blog going, when really it is about the man and the woman and the marriage!
    Thanks for writing this – it’s perfect! And I’d love you to take the time to read mine too and see what you think!

    Love from
    Amy
    x

  76. A great post – thoroughly enjoyed reading.

    It is so true, the day is about more than the ‘things’ that people see. It’s about the love of two people and the celebration of them committing themselves to one another, forever.

  77. I definitely see both sides of this. I DO think that details are lovely, and if part of a brides personality and vision are so important. What saddens me the most is that it ‘feels’ like if it’s not new and amazing, it’s not worth being published or featured. I just sent out a wedding to a few blogs that is gushing with details that the bride spent months trying to solidify. She had such a hard time combining elements, that when she finally settled on her theme/details it was a huge accomplishment. She asked me to submit it to a few blogs, and I was more than happy to help. It was rejected by one blog because ‘the details have been seen before, and we are really looking for something original.’… That sort of response makes me slightly agitated because it feels like blogs are trying to compete with who can be the best, think of the next big thing, and who can execute it in the most creative and un-thought of way ever!!! It didn’t matter that there was a photo of the bride in her blusher veil, smiling brilliantly behind the tears as she’s meeting her groom for the first time, or that the entire crowd sang a hymn as she entered and there wasn’t a dry eye to be found, or that she wore her grandmothers wedding dress from the 1950’s when she was married in France to honor her OR that the grooms ring was his grandfathers, who recently passed. None of that mattered. The feelings behind this amazing event were set aside because it wasn’t a new, brilliant idea.

  78. Thank you for this post! It could come right out of my hart and soul. I’ve not read the comments, but it seems it stirs things up. That’s kind of obvious, as it’s such a needed discussion in the current wedding worls.

  79. Well, not much to add, I believe most have already been said. Very true words indeed! If you think about it, not only for marriages but for almost every aspect of our lives. We all need to be true to who we are, in every day life.

    On a side note, it’s really good to see some of your writing again, I do believe I have missed it! ;)

  80. All I have to say is we didn’t have an amazing photographer. Luckily the 2nd shooter was a good friend and amazing photographer who captured what I knew I felt for my husband which is what I wanted on our walls at home. This post shows that it isn’t about the money or about showing up, but that there are photographers who do care about their clients and who care about what they’re doing. So thank you for doing what you do and for reiterating to the world that it is about the boy & girl and not everything else, but also that photography is just as important because it captures that timeless love in one shot :)

  81. Bautifully written and so very true. A wedding is about two people in love vowing to spend the rest of their lives together. We are planners and we love DETAILS…but when you are so focused on the details and forget about the marriage then there is a problem.

    Well done!

  82. I run a wedding blog that is not geared towards featuring details, it features photographers who shoot weddings & portraits. That does not mean I publish every wedding, no…the photography has to be good or in some cases I have to feel something about the images. But it doesn’t matter if the wedding was held in the middle of the street with the bride and groom in t-shirts and jeans or if the wedding has every trendy detail out there. My focus is wedding photography and any photographer looking to be featured is welcome to submit.

  83. So beautifully written Jonas and honestly, I think that this piece will ignite a thoughtful and constructive conversation that will help bloggers, magazines, vendors and brides to find their place in the world of weddings. I wrote a long response though I don’t want to take away from all of the other provoking and meaningful comments here because it’s absurdly long, so you can read it on backstage…

    http://backstage.stylemepretty.com/2011/10/its-all-in-the-details-or-is-it/

    Hopefully it will provide some insight into how SMP understands the way that weddings are designed, captured and consumed. Thanks for getting this discussion going in such an elegant way, Jonas. Hopefully, your post will set the bar for how change is actually made.

  84. I actually don’t feel like it’s necessary to post yet another viewpoint shaming and stressing brides into feeling like they’re doing something dreadfully wrong. If I’d read this when I was planning my wedding, I would have been pretty unhappy with it. This advice would hold a lot more weight if it were not attached to photographs from a wedding complete with every single trendy detail in the book these days – mason jars, mismatched china, vintage photos hanging on clothes pins, flowers in old metal garden cans, the couple posed standing in a field, the works. Show me a wedding that *has* been stripped of the details, maybe even a wedding in a boring old hotel ballroom, that still looks so poignant and bursting with love and beauty, and then maybe you can convince brides that their wedding will be worth the price of the photos if they don’t indulge in all these details. In my mind, *that* is the problem – wedding blogs and, yes, wedding photography blogs, that give the impression that the only way to make a wedding beautiful is with all these details. Otherwise I feel like you’re just adding yet another item to the list of requirements a bride must worry about – not only does it have to be gorgeous, it has to be simple too!

  85. I think I am ready to chime in here, I mean I was featured in a manifesto. This issue is so important to many people and hits a nerve. What I would hate to see is for this to become a competition of who had the least details at their wedding (although the ones above do sound so heart felt)or about making fun of people for drinking from mason jars. I think half the point of this manifesto is about saying details are part of the story, when they mean something. And when blogs feature a wedding and all you see is the details and a few shots of the bride and groom you lose the story, you cannot find the meaning. I must tell you that as a bride who looked at many blogs, how lost you can feel in the stuff. This is my consumer voice so listen to me! I could flip through pages of things and feel no connection to them. It felt like the blog was asking me to find the meaning in their stuff because the couple themselves were not enough. However, when I would find a couple totally in love, I could feel it, and see how the things around them told a story of who they were, I was inspired to tell our own story.
    I can look at the photos Jonas took of things at my wedding and I feel something when I look at ALL of them. I know why they are there, I know who put them there, who made them or scavenged them for me. When I see the old forks I think of my mom who polished every last one of them and cut herself on a butter knife and we all laughed, because its a butter knife. Everything at our wedding had meaning to us but I felt pressure from somewhere (subconscious media messages cough cough) that maybe it wouldn’t be enough. But I said fuck it, we are enough.

    And yes we drank from mason jars.

  86. I’m feeling skeptical to your idea that commerce entering or affecting peoples’ choices or tastes when it comes to arranging weddings is wrong.

    It’s kind of what commerce do, be it “details” or THINGS – people want to buy an idea, and as long as there are people guiding others by creating great stuff (i.e. you inspiring others), there is always going to be an anomaly market or whatever that will suck the goodies from the original idea and make good money on it “giving people what they want”, with or without heavy advertisment.

    So in the end, all this did was to strengthen your own trademark JONASPETERSON even more.

    Congrats, mr. Copywriter.

  87. P.S. You are totally Jerry McGuire writing a manifesto in the middle of the night. Show me the money!

  88. The truth is industry professionals may never know what goes into the thought process for selecting details or not. This is typically and individual choice for each bride. I’ve posted my own thoughts on details on my blog. I thought it might give you and your readers some perspective from a real bride who loves details and as a professional wedding blogger who still loves details (though I publish plenty of modest weddings too.)

    http://hindsightbride.com/2011/10/27/missed-advice

    I think we need to remember that the choices we make for ourselves may not be the choices others would make, and that’s OK. With the emergence of new media, there seems to be a place for everyone, whether in the blogoshpere or the social media landscape. There are many, many options.

    If you ever shoot a wedding light on details, might I suggest you submit to a blog like 30 Something Bride or Kiss My Tulle. If it’s in a mountain region, I’ll accept it.

  89. The truth is industry professionals may never know what goes into the thought process for selecting details or not. This is typically and individual choice for each bride. I’ve posted my own thoughts on details on my blog. I thought it might give you and your readers some perspective from a real bride who loves details and as a professional wedding blogger who still loves details (though I publish plenty of modest weddings too.)

    http://hindsightbride.com/2011/10/27/missed-advice

    I think we need to remember that the choices we make for ourselves may not be the choices others would make, and that’s OK. With the emergence of new media, there seems to be a place for everyone, whether in the blogoshpere or the social media landscape. There are many, many options.

    If you ever shoot a wedding light on details, might I suggest you submit to a blog like 30 Something Bride or Kiss My Tulle. If it’s in a mountain region, I’ll accept it.

  90. My favorite quote: “As if candles and old LP players on a blanket in a clearing in a forest make a wedding.”

    Thank you so much for this post. It’s spot on and so needed!!!

  91. Agree with everything you said except when I clicked on your portfolio the very first picture is a detail shot of a mason jar…. me thinks you might want to revise your portfolio if you’re going to truly adopt this manifesto. :)

  92. I think every couple gets caught up in the details, because the details are what make up the bigger picture of a wedding. But when you get down to it (or peel back the layers) it really is about the couple, and nothing else.

    That’s how my wedding day felt, it was about us and our love for each other. There was one moment that I will always remember: my uncle (and godfather) walked up to me and said “You’re really in love aren’t you?” and of course I answered “Yes, I am”

    That moment wasn’t captured on film, it wasn’t bought, and it wasn’t planned. But it is the one thing that sticks in my mind because I wanted people to know how much we loved each other and how much we loved everyone that we invited, and it showed.

  93. Jonas, AMEN!! Well said. It’s about people, it’s about emotions, it’s about loved ones. Period. Oh and in some cases a dash of religion.

  94. as an aspiring wedding photographer (i have only shot 2 weddings so far) I find your words and pictures like a cool glass of water on a hot day. Refreshing. Satisfying. Necessary.
    Looking at it from the big picture, by re-focusing on the little things (details), and remembering what it is all about. My job will be to ‘capture their moments during their wedding day’ and i suppose that includes getting shots of smiles, tears, hugs, handshakes, and of course those details you speak of. So it comes down to making a conscious effort to put more emphasis on the love between the couple and less on the artificial stuff. Thus it becomes important to have this discussion with the couple before the wedding day and to have the proper mentality on day of. Seems obvious..doesn’t it?
    I know that before i shoot my next wedding, I will go back to your last two posts and re-read them and remind myself of what my job will be and when i think of it that way I feel at ease and confident. Its not about me. Its about them.
    Thank you, sir.

  95. “Weddings are about people, it’s about commitment and celebrating love. It’s about you. Build on that and everything else will follow.” Bravo! Bravo!

    We were married this year at one of the town squares and had a cocktail style party at a house we shared with some close friends for the weekend. True, this is Savannah GA and not many cities are as pretty as this however we opted out of the mason jars, decorated tables, etc and let what is already here be enough.

    The only staging we did was put up a world globe. First of all because I wanted one for our home anyway, and this was a perfect opportunity to add one thing that every time we look at it we are reminded of our wedding day. Also, we are both world travelers and up until the wedding I lived in Europe while my husband is American deployed in the Middle East. We had a destination wedding with guests flying in from all over the US and Europe thus the globe was fitting.

    We also opted out of a wedding party. I did not want bridesmaids that had to be “at work”, I wanted ALL of our friends to celebrate and have a good time. We did not want to make anyone seem more important to us than others as we love them all dearly and equally.

    The only reason we had flowers was because my bonus daughter asked to be our flower girl and decided she and I needed bouquets. Which meant having a florist create something the day before (!) from whatever leftover flowers she had in her cooler.

    We were married by a friend of mine whom is a pastor. Our photographers were also close friends of mine and even they were told to kick back and have fun. Our “details” were the salt covenant which our Pastor suggested to include in the ceremony, and my husband’s sister did the hand fasting ritual later with our children and friends naming the symbols of the different color ribbons.

    Nothing makes us happier than seeing how our friends have bonded and become friends also, because we opting for a less formal and detail oriented wedding. We always claim our friends are our family and the only thing that mattered to us was to share our love and commitment with those closest to our heart.

  96. Du är helt fantastisk Jonas! Vilken text, jag har kopierat den och ramat in – ska sätta upp den på väggen när jag finner en lämplig “stenväggs-spik” som kan fästa i dessa tjocka väggar! :) Du är min definition på hur bröllopsfotografering ska vara och se ut! Äkta. Varmaste, Mimmi

  97. I’d say, all that anthropologie vintage romantic editorial photography craze has done it all!!
    Yes, strip it back and strip it bare – it’s all about people and connection.

  98. Wow!! This is one of the best blog posts that I have read in a really long time.

    I am a destination wedding planner… I ALWAYS tell my clients no matter what their budget, it is not about the decorations. Memories are not created by the decorations, rather by the celebration of love, their love, the love of those gathered to celebrate.

    The best decorations I have ever seen are those of the smiles on the couples faces,those of their friends and family sharing the moment.

    Have always encouraged clients to spend their “wedding budget” on memorable experiences, hula lessons,zip lining.. anything their group would enjoy.

    Biggest expense should be on a great photographer who will capture all of the decorations the smiles and memories, that will last long after the flowers fade and the cake is eaten.

    Thank you so much for reminding all of us, brides, grooms, planners etc.. the true reason for this gala event.

    Put your party shoes on .. cuz the party is on!

    Smile because you are loved

    Ignore the temptation of a styled wedding shoot, the one thing missing is love.. they leave me cold… do not leave your guests with the impersonal feeling that you are so worried about the details you forget the importance of marrying your best friend.

  99. Marriage is a serious business. Weddings, by contrast, are trivial. The wedding business must dread the day the punters wake up to this fact.

  100. gran alegato en favor de la fotografía de momentos ,sentimientos ambientes,melancolias y cariño mucho cariño y por otra parte en contra de el pestiche del jarron de las galletas el trozo de tarta y toda la parte materialista simplista y inanimada de una boda…

  101. “You have healed parts of me. If that is not the measure of your success, I don’t know what is.”

    This is what’s it all about.

  102. Pretty spot on there Jonas. Fortunately the UK is a little behind the US on over the top irrelevant weddings – still a lot of very traditional themes.

    That said, the wedding day should be a special day – but I agree its better when it is in keeping with the wedding couple.

    This weekend I shall be shooting a psychobilly / vintage 50’s themed wedding !! But, that is the couple, it is exactly the way they live there lives from day to day. The day will be terrific and meaningful.

  103. What’s that old chestnut? “A picture of something beautiful doesn’t make it a beautiful picture”. Great post, Jonas, and it echoes what a lot of photographers are feeling at the moment. I purposely post as few details on my blog posts as possible and focus on emotion and interactions between people on a wedding day. Why? Because it’s what I personally want, and love to see. This can be hard when everyone is showing pretty things and you feel like you should also be following the trends. But being a photographer, or anything creative, is about being true to yourself and not wavering from it in the midst of so many influences that are out there, especially now. If you love the details, then show them. If you love the emotion, then show that. When clients look at your work, they should be connecting with a set of images that also represent YOU. For everyone who’s posted up here in agreement to JP, how about not showing any details on your next blog post?

  104. I have re-read you blog post a few times and am trying to get at exactly what you are suggesting Jonas.. let me say this first before I continue…”I love your work!”
    …But have you just shot yourself in the foot with a post like this?
    After reading all of the 123 comments, I found 2 comments which didn’t support your views. Am I seriously part of that measly minority? Surely they must have misunderstood what you really mean.
    Bewildered, I continued to scroll down for a peek at the Rachel and Jeff wedding and feel that this is a perfect example of what you love (the detail)! Yet your readers feel this detail is what you are referring to that needs to be stripped back.
    From the vintage key on the letter, the teapot and saucer, the chalkboard, mini pegs, twine,old polaroid, old glass windows, the grandparents plates and cutlery all the way to the bocce set…this is detail! Or is it just fluff as your say?
    On the other hand, the images are full of emotion, love, character and give you a true feel of what it was like on the wedding day whether you look at them now or in 50 years’ time.
    I don’t believe the wedding train has derailed at all, well in most instances anyway. Yeh sure people get carried away with the budget (or no budget at all), but couples choose to have their wedding the way they do because of their own particular reasoning’s.
    Strip it back, peel the layers off… but please don’t be left with 500 photos in 20 years’ time asking yourself what the wedding meant to you!

  105. True, there’s nothing wrong with details. Details are good. But why are they there? Is it because they help to tell the couple’s story more or is it because the couple feel that they need them to get their wedding featured? Brave post Jonas – let’s all get back to the basics.

  106. Wonderful words and exactly what needs to be remembered. All the details are an important part but are not and should never be more important than the two people who are in the middle of the whole day. I will definitely make sure to remember that more. Thanks Fiona

  107. Thank you for this. I love me some details too, but it’s time for a reality check. The blogs are becoming more and more ridiculous every day. As a photographer I’d rather capture one revealing, fleeting, emotional moment than a million pictures of shoes and cake toppers and mason jars filled with wildflowers. It’s so much more precious. In the end it’s all that matters.

  108. I agree totally Jonas.

    It is funny because yesterday I looked at your new post and as soon as I closed the page I only had one thing in mind – details.

    Started to wonder “Do I do enough details?” “Perhaps I am not telling the story as well without the details”?

    I went back to your post and looked again. Decided to count them. I think you have 40 photos of details (by details I mean stuff which does not have the couple inside them).

    But then again, you capture details which not everyone see. Tells a different story too. Will you change that now?

    Nevertheless, great to bring up this discussion!

  109. the second time that I cried reading your blog (in two days). The seagull and the letter. Thank you Jonas, for your images. And your writing.

  110. You hit it WAY out the park! Killer post! Something that’s been close to my heart since I started shooting.
    I wish every wedding blog had this post on their front page and nothing else… The world would be a better and less stressful place.

  111. Well said Jonas. If you look at many blogs today it almost feels that the photographer “have to” find a cool detail, like an old rusy train for background or something similar. It is never enough with just the happy couple. It’s sort of more about the photographer getting his/her trendy shot than the couple really wanting this. I could go on here. But you make a very good point here. Everyone needs to go back to basics sort of. Thanks for writing this. Tack Jonas.

  112. completely agree. now everything is bussines, and love is put aside. I think just like you, and I suffer a lot. But how do you drag away from the couple and tell them this: search silence within you and you remember what you are doing, do not miss the magic. do not get kidnapped by chaos. I try and always has a hard time

  113. You summed it up perfectly Jonas! Over the detail hype. Bring back the love and connection between couples and forgo the trinkets.

  114. Thank you for daring to say this–I do not know you, I found this through another photographer’s facebook status, but I’m getting married on Saturday and you put into words what I’ve been struggling to embrace. That the wedding is not a culmination of my relationship with my fiance. It is not the performance of our personal style or ability to “do everything yourself” and prove how ___ (retro/country/chic/ecofriendly/creative) we are. “Simplify” has been our motto of late and it is difficult–but it is helping so much. Thank you!!

  115. As both a wedding planner and blogger – everything I do is rooted in the story. The love story and the couple. While the details are pretty, the story is more important to me with every wedding I work and every wedding I feature.

    Thank you for the reminder. But, also know that brides also look to us (whether it be a magazine, blog or as a wedding professional) to provide them with some source of inspiration. Whatever it may be. The important thing is to never lose sight of the story. The marriage.

  116. We married on the beach. Six other people present. A sale rack dress. Homemade Hawaiian bouquet. Our friend as the “minister”. A small dinner with fish we caught from the Hawaiian Ocean. Danced to music on the ipod. FOUR months later my husband was diagnosed with Cancer. Two and a half years later we are still fighting the pesky lil bugger. It was the most perfect day. No drama. No worrying about details, only each other. I married the love of my life in sickness and health. That’s all that matters. (only mistake was that we didn’t have a photographer, boooo us)

  117. wow.. this is probably the second time I’ve read an article like this pertaining to the wedding industry in the short span of 2 months. I have to admit I’m all girly and loving details when they appear. But this article makes me look back and think of what exactly gives my heart that sweet ache when I shoot, and it’s not about the details, but about the joy of people. Thank you. This will serve as a good reminder.

  118. I have read this over a few times. I adore your work, you see things others are too busy to notice, or like you say “focused” on the detail beast.
    Some people want their wedding and their exposure on these blogs, and in the magazines. That’s why they exist. I think if someone is fortunate enough to have you capture their day, they already know how lucky they are.
    You are already enough. Avoid the foolishness, it will always be there.

  119. I’m not sure I’ve ever agreed with a blog post more than this. Thanks for putting it out there. If enough people raise their voices like this, things can change and sanity can return to weddings!

  120. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

    My wedding is in just over 2 weeks and I’ve been stressing over all of the little details I’m ‘supposed’ to have. Thank you for helping me remember that the wedding is about us, not about the things, not about the stuff, just about us and our love.

    I really needed this today. And your story about Rachel and Jeff was so moving, as was their wedding gallery, especially with the music – that I shed a few tears despite not knowing them, I now feel like I do :)

    Thank you for this blog, so so much.

  121. A friend shared this link on Facebook tonight and I am very grateful for the chance to read your words at this particular time in our industry and my career as a photographer. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the wrong things, especially with as large an international community as we have. Thank you for sharing your thoughts- you have definitely touched something in my heart, too.

  122. AMEN, Jonas. I am so tired of submitting weddings to blogs and magazines in order to get our name out to other photographers and the masses only to be told over and over “really we love your work so don’t stop submitting, but this one doesn’t fit our focus or is lacking in the certain type of details we’re looking for”!!!! We shoot for feelings. We shoot for emotions. We don’t shoot staged engagements of Alice in Wonderland, or Little Red Riding Hood, or some other such nonsense which have both been featured on several blogs! The regular weddings, gorgeous in their own right, just don’t get a whiff of attention. It’s like high school all over again. A select few great photographers, cause their work is great, are who get on the top five blogs over and over again. The rest of us, get on some of the lesser known ones and are greatful for that, but it can be very frustrating and makes you feel like you stink at what you do no matter how many great reviews, letters, comments and emails you receive. I’d love it if for once if the playing field was leveled and the regular weddings which are occurring all over the country could get a shot at being featured. But the reality is, just like in mainstream magazines, no one wants the “regular” wedding to feature because it doesn’t draw the readership. People want to see what they don’t have. The majority of brides are not DIYing up a storm as evidenced by the above yet they get all the coverage.

  123. Thank you for writing this. It’s been on my mind too. One problem is finding a way to send this message to brides and grooms who are told that they need SO many things to have a good wedding. I guess each person in the industry has a responsibility to be true to what is most important.

  124. what could i possibly add that isn’t already said here…but i will…thank you. just the image of the two of them sitting huddled together was enough to stir something. bravo.

  125. I’ve been following you for about 8 months now. This is my first comment. Not because I was shy but because your blog posts leave me speechless. Your writing often sound like something I was just thinking but couldn’t put into words. The music you play is always by one of my favorite artists. And your pictures?…they remind me why I am a wedding photographer (or trying to be.)

    Thank you for this post. And thank you, for being.

    My dream is to meet you someday, and to work with you in some shape or form. You are great. :)

  126. The obsession with detail is a symptom, not the disease. The real problem is the focus on the wedding as a stage-managed performace, rather than as a celebration of life, love and family.

  127. Here here! Beautifully written. What a special experience you have had with Jeff and Rachel. It’s amazing how sometimes our clients can bless our lives with such beautiful friendships. Awesome Jonas.

  128. Thank you so much for this. I am almost at the end of a very busy wedding season. I always tell my bride to spend their money where it will show up in a picture. What I love the most is when a bride say’s “I trust you” and leaves the “DETAILS” to me. Those are the bride’s that I feel in my heart know what the true meaning of a wedding is and what love it about.
    Happy Flowers has been in this business for 25 plus years and am happy to see bride’s do more of the details themselves. Put their love and time into the wedding planning.
    Thank you again,
    Lei-Ann

  129. Very well said, Jonas. Thank you for your voice in this industry that revolves around love. Without love – there would be no weddings, no couples, no happy places or feelings or memories… the world can & could be a very ugly place. Thank you for being a voice for love. We need more of this today.

  130. Finally got the site to load, and I’m so glad I tried again. It is so true. The details don’t matter – the LOVE is where it is at.

  131. Well written and probably what we’ve all been thinking. I think as photographers the stories are somewhat already written prior to the shoot at the moent. I have been struggling with this for a few years and it has almost forced me out of the industry. I was interested in documentary photography the likes of McCullin, Bill Brandt, Isis, James Nachtway and Robert Capa. But now I find I am shooting a style which is foreign to me and I am uncomfortable with, mainly because it’s what people require and in some ways is a false account of the day. Years ago I shot weddings with one, yes one Niokn FE, a 50mm lens and a bunch of Tri-x film. It was much more simple and raw. Somewhere along the line I have strayed from why I started photography and what I think made my work different, there was a raw sense of emotion and it sparked something in people. I was recently looking at alot of early work recently and how raw it was. Now I am not sure where I am going, I have strayed from the original path and I wish I could find it again, with a mortgage and children I am being led by what people will pay me for and not what my heart says, I want to get back there and to have those feelings I had when I was a teenager starting in photography. I am going back to look at the great books I have and to sell gear and strip things back and remember that my particular photography came from somewhere deep within and it is at present lost. Thank you Jonas for writing this article, I have been thinking so much about these things lately, you are brave and I thank you. Wishing you and your family well for the year ahead….Cam…

  132. TOO SHAY good sir. what a fabulous read! your images are always so captivating, as is your mind. so great having a wonderful soul like you among this world :)

  133. Remember us.. we will blog LOVE and forget the details. All we need for our blog is amazing photography which you have by the bucketload. let the kids dot com

  134. Choice words. Thanks for posting your thoughts. Totally different industry in the US and Australia than the UK. I’m no expert, but real people and real-life moments do it for me every time over details.

  135. I love you for writing this. Thank you. And, I would love to feature you, your work, and your opinions in a blog post on RogueBride if you are interested. I have a special vendetta against Mason Jars, and peonies for that matter.

  136. Ah there is a lot of this thought process going on right now. As a full time blogger who likes to focus on details (it’s in my business name), I would like to stand up for myself. :) I myself strongly encourage couples to create details for their weddings AROUND their relationship and their personalities. The weddings that I design have details and whole themes created around their relationship and personalities. And those are of course always the best. I agree, there are lots of things that can be considered trends right now, and I hate trends. But when it’s a bride who WANTS to use mason jars for her wedding because that’s what they drink out of at home, then she shouldn’t feel bad for using mason jars. When a bride who drinks out of martini glasses at home has mason jars at her wedding, now that’s a different story.

    There’s a whole huge post that I could write about this, but right now I’ll just leave it at this:

    I challenge everyone to a) find new blogs that encourage couples to use details in a manner that will reflect them, b) submit to those blogs so we don’t have to feature the “trendy” crap anymore and c) tell your brides about those blogs! :)

    Please don’t blame all of the blogs. Some of us really try hard to inspire and educate brides :)

  137. Thank you Jonas. Success in this wonderful thing that we share with couples is sometimes knowing not just what you want to be but what you don’t want to be.
    I spent time in a room yesterday with a new age guru ‘photographer’ with hundreds of swooning disciples.
    I am as troubled by this phenomenon.
    Thank you for sharing your words and images with us – please don’t tell me you can cook too.

  138. EXACTLY. This is exactly what Tory and I have been trying to do with our new blog.. we want the People.. and the things that matter to them. Did you read my article at KEH? Just exactly so. You nailed it.

  139. I am a blogger, and I do agree, weddings are about the marriage, and that is where the focus should lie. But I am not going to fault a bride for liking a certain style and doing her wedding the way she wants. If she like mason jars, who am I to say I don’t want to feature you cause mason jars are so over done? I’ve never featured a vintage wedding where the couple chose a vintage style because it is trendy right now. Each one of them has that same style reflected in their home, clothing, etc. Each one of them chose those details because they are meaningful to them. On my blog, a strive to instill the idea that ‘you be you’. A guest should walk into the reception and say ‘This is so ____ and ____!’
    And we can only show what is sent to us. If you had sent me this wedding yesterday, I would have snatched it up in a heartbeat! Not all blogs are sitting around plotting how we can make more brides use mason jars! Look outside of the few top blogs and you will find plenty ready and will to feature gorgeous photography and meaningful stories.

  140. Well said buddy. There is a lot to be said for ‘taking things back to basics’. As you pointed out the fault lies not only with the boy and the girl in love but us as photographers. We get so caught up in the technique, the settings, the ‘perfection’ of it all that we lose the meaning of what we are trying to do.

    You are an inspiration to us all.

  141. that letter from your client just warmed my heart. and you are so right about everything you said, i was just thinking about the wedding industry and all of the crazy details that mask what a wedding is really about. “Strip it back. Peel the layers off. And start again.” yes.

  142. Love this , if you have Time read what Jeff ascough sais about it. It,s funny how there more and more Photographers who are seing that. Chers from France

  143. Fully agree. Well written. It is easy to get caught up
    in all these trends. Be it music, home styling, weddings doesn’t matter.
    Focus on yourself and the rest will follow.

  144. Some of us never got on that train. In fact, some of us, like you, never stopped believing it was always about something deeper, something else.

    Thank you for writing this so well.

    You speak for many of my friends, who shoot from the heart, to capture the soul of a wedding. We don’t really sign up for the hype, and know that a wedding is not all about the details.

    It is all about the feelings….which are harder to catch on film, but far more precious in a decade or two.

    Thank you for standing up and saying this.

  145. You You’ve done it it again… and not only are you a brilliant writer so is Rachel I love how eloquently you both write… I’d be in trouble if you started a cult.

  146. Amen, Jonas. And Rachel, too. You hit the nail on the head. I spend so much time thinking about this and you just voiced every thought. A wedding is the start of a marriage…where mason jars and flowers don’t matter nearly as much.

  147. My gosh! This was amazing to read – both your thoughts and your couples! I can honestly say that I got u wrong! No fun to admit but its true. I was thinking in your seminar that yeah yeah lets see in a few years when you have been working so hard on everyone elses happiness that u forgot to take care of your own – but that was just from my own life – thats what I did. I ended up happier in the end but thats another story!

    By reading this post I realise now that u dont take things for granted and u think about what is important in life!… Taking care! I can only say that its soo soo nice to hear!

    Love from Jenny Blad at scandinavian photo!

  148. jonas,
    you just mentioned everything i have been thinking and toiling over for many months now. at such a stressful time in my life, and career, you have put into words everything i stand for with my work. thank you for being such an inspiration, not only though your images, but by being true to you. reading that message from rachel brought tears, and hope. thank you.

  149. Well spoken, sir. I’m tired of seeing “vintage themed weddings” for people who don’t otherwise do vintage in any other facet of their life. I want to see weddings with details of the couple that speak about who they are. Not details that some popular wedding blog said was hip for the moment. What’s the point then if it has nothing to do with you? It just ends up being a big contest of who has the “prettier” “more trendy” wedding.

  150. I think your site will crash again as this post goes viral in a few minutes. I’ve had this conversation with every couple I’m booking for 2012. Some are afraid I won’t want to shoot their weddings because they are “simple people.” On the flip-side, some are already asking what blogs I will submit their weddings to afterward. I am tired of all weddings looking the same and I’m now out to remind my couples of exactly what you’ve written above. Give me a wildly-in-love couple with warm hearts and welcoming friends/family ANY day over a decked-out and gorgeous table setting. Cheers, Jonas.

  151. «You have healed parts of me. If that is not the measure of your success, I don’t know what is.». that, made me cried too.

  152. I’ve been waiting for something like this. Thank you.
    (and one little detail – weddings don’t always have to be between a girl and a boy :)

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